K. Scott Forman
Halloween is my favorite holiday, if it can be called a holy day. Unfortunately, in all centuries, anything that sounds fun has got to be of the devil. I wrote a piece a few years back hoping for publication in the NY Times Editorial, but I just didn't have the liberal or conservative slant, I guess, to get included. Now that I'm my own boss, I think I'll publish it here for your reading or strong critiquing pleasure, but before we get into the fun, a couple items of business.
This summer, I had the privilege of attending the Summer Writing Program at Naropa University. While there, I promised I was going to include something on the Patriot Act in this issue - something really scary - laws and acts of the United States. After doing a lot of research, and trying to find complete copies of the Act on the Internet, I'm at a loss to find anything that scary about it (from the standpoint of taking away our basic liberties and freedoms). That said, there are still plenty of things going on in the world violating all kinds of freedoms and liberties. Perhaps next issue I can find something to sink my teeth into, something validated, but for now, I'm just going to keep driving my hybrid car and being a conservationist, and the rejected NY Times Editorial I promised earlier: It should appease all those revolutionaries and Big Brother haters out there for now.
Lastly, I have a horrible, terrible, scary time getting any submissions. As you can see, our first issue came out last May, and here it is October and I'm just getting it out. Well, part of that is due to me not having any time, the other part is I'm not getting very many submissions - good or bad. Please submit your work. Along those lines, some have asked about payment, which I doubt is a real reason for not submitting, but for those of you who consider your work worthy of payment, those who don't need to start somewhere, but can demand cash for their work, I'll make you a deal. Send me your work, and if it's good (and requires very little editing), I'll send you some sugar (up to and including $100).
Happy Halloween and enjoy my unaccepted New York Times Editorial piece!
Scott
Halloween
Over the centuries of pagan rituals and rites, Big Brother, in all his incantations, has not been able to quiet the best holiday in the entire world, nor has he confused the people with sounds of Christianity or commerce in his war to eradicate fun from October. Halloween remains alone as the least changed, most true to the original, holiday, despite Big Brother's squelching attempts. Halloween carries the flag of fun high into the battle against fear, ignorance, and greed.
Christmas, Easter, and all the holidays that have 'Saint' attached to them were originally like Halloween: fun. Big Brother systematically bastardized each holiday over the years through the use of religion and fear. In the early days, he used the Catholic Church, the grand inquisitor, to wage war against fun-loving peoples around the world. By replacing fun celebrations with holy days, Big Brother stamped out fun. He was so successful the holy days became holidays. The fear of God alone would drive the masses from their fun-loving frolic and good-hearted innocence to the altar. The crusades, for example, weren't about putting Christianity into the Holy Land; they were about liquidating fun. Big Brother had bet on Mohammed, but found that true Islam was much too tolerant to extinguish the beliefs and celebrations of everyone.
Today, remnants of the true celebrations remain - decorated trees, eggs, rabbits, and Cupid - and Big Brother is still attempting to put a religious spin on them. Good intentioned pastors and preachers routinely find bogus Christian metaphors for Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Tom Turkey, as well as the Fourth of July flag, Christmas trees, and leprechauns. In this age of disbelief, in both religion and real fun, Big Brother has found that the fear of God alone cannot win the war.
Enter Big Brother's new ally: Big Sister (imagine that). Not only does she have the big guns, literally, to eradicate fun from the face of the free world, she looks good doing it. Her subtle skills, using the whole gambit of emotions, not just fear, are slowly leading man (and woman) down the paved path of good intentions into a land where fun is outlawed. The scary thing is, most people don't even know it.
Big Sister can be seen in skimpy, steamy swimsuits in Sports Illustrated, or the loose fitting lingerie on the Vixens of Victoria's Secret Holiday Special (Holiday?). She is alive and well in television, radio, and the Press. Her reach runs from the bum on the street to the chum in government. Many consider her to be the mother of commercialism, the daughter of greed, or as the Bible puts it, the Whore of all the Earth. She is embraced as fun, but once she has people hooked the fun is over. The result of her "fun" can be seen in divorce, broken families, large consumer debt, and bankruptcy.
Personally, I admire her use of a long string of soap opera stars, overpaid for their acting ability and underpaid for their "come hither" look (my wife substitutes an expletive for 'come hither'). These women (and men) are the foundation of Big Sister's psychological trauma campaign and mind-numbing dialogue, complete with wartime propaganda on the commercial break. Big Sister lulls mankind into a spending spree at the mall, or the cosmetic surgeon's office, to become what most were never meant to be. She gets John Doe and Jane Cash to spend more time (and money) with their televisions and computers, and less time with sensible things, like children and mortgage payments. The only weapons against this invisible onslaught, a throwback to the "me" generation, appear to be turning off or TiVo.
There is an alternative to hemlock, my friends - those of you dogged by dumb dramas, humbled by Hollywood remakes, scared by sitcoms, repulsed by reality TV, beat down by buxom breast email, paralyzed by penis enlargement spam, and it isn't multi-level marketing or Anthony Robbins. The answer is Halloween.
Halloween is a symbol and a protection against the bullets and brassieres of Big Sister, the bazookas and benedictions of Big Brother. Where else can one find family, frugality, and fun all in one place? Costumes and candy are cheap, and the time spent one night a year is negligible considering the benefits.
Halloween is such a strong antidote to the poison of society's misplaced passions and greed-based appetites that Big Brother and Big Sister try to pass it off as the devil's work. How can trick-or-treating, carving pumpkins, and wearing costumes be the work of the devil? Want proof of the strength of Halloween? Look what happened to All Saints Day, or El Dia de los Muertos (the Day of the Dead), on 1 November (the anti-Halloween holy day set up by big brother). Families are visiting the cemetery together, having family parties, spending very little money, and the skull candy is great! It's got Halloween written all over it.
As November approaches with the Thanksgiving holiday (another good holiday since it lasts four days), remember Halloween. Don't be lulled into a second or third mortgage at Christmas, don't think spending money equals love on St. Valentine's day, and take any metaphor your preacher, rabbi, or mullah tries to put over on you concerning leprechauns, Easter bunnies, pilgrims, or the colors and organization of the United States flag with a grain of salt. It's about the fun - long-term fun (not debt, despair, and the devil). Just remember one thing while you sit in your fortress of fun: Big Brother may still be watching.
This summer, I had the privilege of attending the Summer Writing Program at Naropa University. While there, I promised I was going to include something on the Patriot Act in this issue - something really scary - laws and acts of the United States. After doing a lot of research, and trying to find complete copies of the Act on the Internet, I'm at a loss to find anything that scary about it (from the standpoint of taking away our basic liberties and freedoms). That said, there are still plenty of things going on in the world violating all kinds of freedoms and liberties. Perhaps next issue I can find something to sink my teeth into, something validated, but for now, I'm just going to keep driving my hybrid car and being a conservationist, and the rejected NY Times Editorial I promised earlier: It should appease all those revolutionaries and Big Brother haters out there for now.
Lastly, I have a horrible, terrible, scary time getting any submissions. As you can see, our first issue came out last May, and here it is October and I'm just getting it out. Well, part of that is due to me not having any time, the other part is I'm not getting very many submissions - good or bad. Please submit your work. Along those lines, some have asked about payment, which I doubt is a real reason for not submitting, but for those of you who consider your work worthy of payment, those who don't need to start somewhere, but can demand cash for their work, I'll make you a deal. Send me your work, and if it's good (and requires very little editing), I'll send you some sugar (up to and including $100).
Happy Halloween and enjoy my unaccepted New York Times Editorial piece!
Scott
Halloween
Over the centuries of pagan rituals and rites, Big Brother, in all his incantations, has not been able to quiet the best holiday in the entire world, nor has he confused the people with sounds of Christianity or commerce in his war to eradicate fun from October. Halloween remains alone as the least changed, most true to the original, holiday, despite Big Brother's squelching attempts. Halloween carries the flag of fun high into the battle against fear, ignorance, and greed.
Christmas, Easter, and all the holidays that have 'Saint' attached to them were originally like Halloween: fun. Big Brother systematically bastardized each holiday over the years through the use of religion and fear. In the early days, he used the Catholic Church, the grand inquisitor, to wage war against fun-loving peoples around the world. By replacing fun celebrations with holy days, Big Brother stamped out fun. He was so successful the holy days became holidays. The fear of God alone would drive the masses from their fun-loving frolic and good-hearted innocence to the altar. The crusades, for example, weren't about putting Christianity into the Holy Land; they were about liquidating fun. Big Brother had bet on Mohammed, but found that true Islam was much too tolerant to extinguish the beliefs and celebrations of everyone.
Today, remnants of the true celebrations remain - decorated trees, eggs, rabbits, and Cupid - and Big Brother is still attempting to put a religious spin on them. Good intentioned pastors and preachers routinely find bogus Christian metaphors for Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and Tom Turkey, as well as the Fourth of July flag, Christmas trees, and leprechauns. In this age of disbelief, in both religion and real fun, Big Brother has found that the fear of God alone cannot win the war.
Enter Big Brother's new ally: Big Sister (imagine that). Not only does she have the big guns, literally, to eradicate fun from the face of the free world, she looks good doing it. Her subtle skills, using the whole gambit of emotions, not just fear, are slowly leading man (and woman) down the paved path of good intentions into a land where fun is outlawed. The scary thing is, most people don't even know it.
Big Sister can be seen in skimpy, steamy swimsuits in Sports Illustrated, or the loose fitting lingerie on the Vixens of Victoria's Secret Holiday Special (Holiday?). She is alive and well in television, radio, and the Press. Her reach runs from the bum on the street to the chum in government. Many consider her to be the mother of commercialism, the daughter of greed, or as the Bible puts it, the Whore of all the Earth. She is embraced as fun, but once she has people hooked the fun is over. The result of her "fun" can be seen in divorce, broken families, large consumer debt, and bankruptcy.
Personally, I admire her use of a long string of soap opera stars, overpaid for their acting ability and underpaid for their "come hither" look (my wife substitutes an expletive for 'come hither'). These women (and men) are the foundation of Big Sister's psychological trauma campaign and mind-numbing dialogue, complete with wartime propaganda on the commercial break. Big Sister lulls mankind into a spending spree at the mall, or the cosmetic surgeon's office, to become what most were never meant to be. She gets John Doe and Jane Cash to spend more time (and money) with their televisions and computers, and less time with sensible things, like children and mortgage payments. The only weapons against this invisible onslaught, a throwback to the "me" generation, appear to be turning off or TiVo.
There is an alternative to hemlock, my friends - those of you dogged by dumb dramas, humbled by Hollywood remakes, scared by sitcoms, repulsed by reality TV, beat down by buxom breast email, paralyzed by penis enlargement spam, and it isn't multi-level marketing or Anthony Robbins. The answer is Halloween.
Halloween is a symbol and a protection against the bullets and brassieres of Big Sister, the bazookas and benedictions of Big Brother. Where else can one find family, frugality, and fun all in one place? Costumes and candy are cheap, and the time spent one night a year is negligible considering the benefits.
Halloween is such a strong antidote to the poison of society's misplaced passions and greed-based appetites that Big Brother and Big Sister try to pass it off as the devil's work. How can trick-or-treating, carving pumpkins, and wearing costumes be the work of the devil? Want proof of the strength of Halloween? Look what happened to All Saints Day, or El Dia de los Muertos (the Day of the Dead), on 1 November (the anti-Halloween holy day set up by big brother). Families are visiting the cemetery together, having family parties, spending very little money, and the skull candy is great! It's got Halloween written all over it.
As November approaches with the Thanksgiving holiday (another good holiday since it lasts four days), remember Halloween. Don't be lulled into a second or third mortgage at Christmas, don't think spending money equals love on St. Valentine's day, and take any metaphor your preacher, rabbi, or mullah tries to put over on you concerning leprechauns, Easter bunnies, pilgrims, or the colors and organization of the United States flag with a grain of salt. It's about the fun - long-term fun (not debt, despair, and the devil). Just remember one thing while you sit in your fortress of fun: Big Brother may still be watching.
copyright 2006 Fear Knocks
So I'm a witch - I'm out of the closet.
I wonder if my marriage license is still valid?
My wife and kids still love me.
Happy Halloween!
I wonder if my marriage license is still valid?
My wife and kids still love me.
Happy Halloween!